Project Thunderhawk Rescue Pt 1

As a long time 40k nerd, I will admit that owning a Thunderhawk was always on my bucket list.  From the old school all metal monster that required an engineering degree and welding experience to the current eight pound resin beast, it (well until recently) is the biggest of the Space Marine specific minis that Forge Worlds produces.  Although titans are badass in their own way, as the center piece of a Space Marine (or spikey heretic marine) army, it is that model.  Its like lusting after a Ferrari, but 1/100th the price, resin, and it will not help to get anyone laid.  Probably the opposite... anyways...

A few weeks back one popped up on eBay.  For $175 shipped.  Now, with the prevalence of Chinese/Russian recasts, one would assume for that price, its a fake.  However, this thing was painted and dusty.  The grainy pictures showed something that had sat on a shelf for a long time after getting painted to an okay ish standard in Dark Angels livery. I couldn't say no.  If worse came to worse, I could clean it up and flip it.  

The poor thing arrived  more broken than in the listing, wedged in a USPS flat rate box with almost no padding or protection.  The resin engines were broken, many of the bombs, heavy bolters, wings etc. were in rough shape.  The Dark Angels paint was about as I figured, it was a clean, table top standard but lacked any washing, highlighting or use of an airbrush.  The dust indicated many years of sitting since it last saw a table, but also showed it to be pre-forgery world.  Closer examination showed proper FW resin, clean casts and for the most part a mini that was by no means beyond salvage.  Its the 40k version of a barn car, like finding a Hemi Cuda with 10,000 miles, all numbers matching just needing some love.  

As of now, the poor thing is getting a stripper bath in sections.  The hull will have to be a multi-part strip and brush. All the ancillary bits that fell off (except one of the wings, the stripper bucket was full) are getting a solvent bath.  After about a week, I'll pull them out, scrub off the evil and see where we are. 

I haven't decided exactly how I'm going to paint the rescue Thunderhawk.  I'm tempted to paint the bright red of my 40k Blood Angels, a color scheme that best matches 5th Edition and earlier paint schemes.  I don't know if it will get used in 30k, probably not, and my other Space Marine chapters don't see much play.  Either way it will be a long road before the poor thing is ready for fresh paint and I'll keep updating as we go forward.  

Nuns with Guns at NOVA Open 2016

So, following my ill fated attempts at playing my War Convocation list at ATC and going 1-5, I decided to run a significantly less competitive list at the NOVA Open this past weekend.  I figured an Inquisition themed list with Sisters, Inquisitor Coteaz + Henchmen and an Imperial Assassin would be fun and fluffy. With the exception of the Culexus Assassin, I’ve got dozens of games with the bolter girls/Coteaz/henchmen combo so I’m more comfortable with their rules and how to get what I can out of them.  

My list was:

Sisters of Battle CAD

HQ

Jacobus- Warlord

St. Celestine

Troops

Battle Sister Squad x 5 w/Melta Gun in Immolator w/Multi Melta

Battle Sister Squad x 5 w/Melta Gun in Immolator w/Multi Melta

Battle Sister Squad x 5 w/Melta Gun in Immolator w/Heavy Flamer

Fast Attack

Dominion Squad x5 w/4x Melta Gun in Repressor

Dominion Squad x5 w/4x Melta Gun in Repressor

Heavy Support

Retributer Squad x5 w/4x Heavy Flamer in Repressor

Retributer Squad x5 w/4x Heavy Flamer in Repressor

Fortification

Aegis Defense Line w/ Quad Gun

Inquisition Allied Detachment

HQ

Inquisitor Coteaz

Elites

Henchmen Squad

2x Jokaero

3x Acolytes w/ Plasma Guns

4x Acolytes (1x bolter)

1x Psyker

Assassin Detachment

Culexus Assassin

Going into NOVA I knew my list would suffer against long range shooting (namely Tau and some Eldar builds) as they could pop my transports right quick.  Space Marine grav spam would hurt my tanks and troops, but Celestine and the girls can handle MSU pretty well whilst Coteaz has a 24” bubble of fuck your drop pods.  Chaos Daemons, IG, Orks, Jet Bike spam, Nids, would all offer their own challenges but I felt confident that I could do okay via ignoring cover melta guns and spamming flamers.

Game One:

I played Kenny from New York, who was an awesome dude and a rather good player, he ended up in like 9th overall.  Sadly, his army was lost in transit by Delta so he was playing borrowed minis at the last minute. He ran pure Tau, a Stormsurge, a few Riptides, Fire Warriors, Drones and a buffmander.  He then proceeded to wreck my face.  I picked progressives knowing that I couldn’t hold on for end game, but his Riptides and Stormsurge just popped tanks then killed girls.  On the plus side, we finished early got some beers and dinner the next night, super good dude and if I end up in Manhattan for grad school, I hope to play him again.

Game Two:

Space Marines.  Normally I’m pretty happy to play Marines as Celestine can run through their squads while the girls can put enough wounds that armor saves go away.  Not so much with the natural Invisibility and Electrodisplacement to a charge.  I played Amir from New Jersey, nice dude, very friendly, fun game, but his dual conclave on bikes with the 2+ re-rollable FNP EW chapter master from Iron Hands.  He dropped a pod in, made it over 12” away, then summoned daemons to kill the Culexus, Electrodisplaced and multi-charged. Without the FAQ/Nerfs to Invisibility and Electrodisplacement, he was able to move up, swap units, then multi charge me with an invisible star.  It went down hill from there for the bolter girls.  His summoned screamers did damage, while my Dominions were able to outflank and move to his back field. I scored a few points, but it was a very one sided loss.  

Game Three:

Tau again, hooray!  I played Joe from Georgia, who had an amazingly well painted Tau Army.  He had won best Tau and best painted at ATC a couple months back, and I could see why.  Running two squads of three Ghostkeels in the formation, some deep striking stealth suits, a Tidewall with Fire Warriors and two outflanking Kroot Squads, I was hoping that I could ignore his cover, cause enough wounds to kill some Ghostkeels and force leadership checks.  So I didn’t.  I managed to score a few points, slew his warlord (Celestine made it across the board and charged the Fire Warrior squad with the HQ) and killed a couple units, but in the progressive version, I couldn’t actually move the relic back so I just had to try and hold it; his Ghostkeels made short work of my tanks despite a ridiculous amount of 6++ invuln saves made.  After the game we got dinner and beers, and we found out that he had painted and made a fair amount of the charity Ork Army, especially the Ork Jet Bikes (which are amazing, some of the coolest minis I’ve ever seen).  A great competitor and a true hobbyist, or really an artist. I look forward to seeing his next project.

So day one was a 0-3 day, not my best, but I couldn’t ask for a nicer group of guys to kick my teeth in.  

Day Two

Game One:

I played Jack from Delaware, one of the Icehouse guys that host the annual Delawar GT.  Super nice dude and a quick game.  He ran three Imperial Knights including an Atrapos and a Riptide Wing (3x Riptides with bonuses). I hoped to scout up and melta a Knight or two, and I did manage to put some hull points down, but I just couldn’t affect the army.  He killed my henchmen squad early on, then proceeded to pop tanks, gatling gun girls to mist, and assault whatever was left over. I scored a couple points, then it ended and we got beers.  

Game Two:

Ben from New Hampshire brought a fluffy Space Wolves list with old school las/plas razorbacks, a Land Raider, Arjac, Ulrik and a generic lord with some Wolf Guard riding in it, three land speeders and some troops in the razorbacks.  It was a pretty close game, but the girls managed to pull the win, it didn’t hurt that his lascannons rolled way more ones than normal, either to hit or to penetrate, thus my tanks and girls stayed alive a lot longer.  Fun game, two pretty fluffy lists playing on a bottom table and drinking beers later one. Great guy, great game, and I finally got a win in.  

Game Three:

I ended up playing a guy that just moved to the same town in which I live, but I had not yet met. John is also in Fayetteville, NC, and was running an Imperial Guard list with an allied Genestealer Cult. He had a couple Chimeras, a few Taurox, a Leman Russ, a Valkyrie, one Wyvern, and Imperial Knight and a few squads in the transports.  The Genestealer cult had a Magos, a couple squads, and the Broodlord that could infiltrate up to one inch from my dudes, which is pretty rad especially since that nasty bastard rolled Invisibility and I couldn’t target him with templates.  The game was pretty close, but he was going for end game points while I was going progressives. I managed to wear down Genestealers and stay alive against the Broodlord which attacked Coteaz and the Henchmen, but he perilsed and lost his last wound.  We made it through five turns until time and I pulled off a minor win.  Another great close game against a super good dude that I can play in the near future.  

On the whole NOVA 2016 was a blast. I withdrew on Saturday evening as although I was 2-0 in the bottom bracket, I didn’t have it in me to play two more games and really just wanted to drink, socialize and see everything that was going on.   On the bottom level there was Warmachine, X-Wing and Armada, Fantasy/AoS, Malifaux, and several other games I couldn’t name.  There was a 30k event that looked A-Mazing, and I might play in that next year instead of the GT.  I really enjoy competitive 40k, but eight games is a lot and I don’t think I will have the time to really practice with a strong army to play it well enough in a year’s time.  

One thing I didn’t dig was NOVA’s not using the ITC nerfs.  Invisibility is nasty, and playing it twice in its full strength just sucks.  Ditto on the Electrodisplacement.  I could have taken advantage of the ruleset in use and brought my girls in via Drop Pods, but every other tournament in the US is observing that FAQ so I didn’t.  Mike Brandt, Dewry, Neil Gilstrap and the dozens of other folks I can’t name that ran NOVA did a great and wonderful thing, they held an awesome event that lasted Thursday through Sunday and had something for every tabletop gamer.  If you ever get the chance, NOVA is a blast.  

Nuns with Guns

Nuns with Guns.

Following my less than victorious trip to ATC with the admittedly cheesy WarCon as covered below, I’ve decided to return to my roots (kinda) for NOVA in a few weeks and run the bolter girls, Sisters of Battle, Adepta Sororitas or whatever other name they go by these days.  

Although NOVA isn’t using the GW FAQs as I understand, and I could bring them in drop pods a la Flesh Tearer’s Taxi Service; I have decided to go MSU Sisters in their own vehicles as locally we use (most) of what GW published in the FAQs and ITC is pretty much there too.

Also, when I get crushed with Bolter Girls, nobody judges me.  It’s like street racing a Prius*, nobody expects you to win. And if I do, because someone stalls out at the launch, or I pull a surprise W on the bottom tables, I feel a little better about myself, instead of getting face kicked with WarCon and its crazy amount of free crap and feeling bad, because I suck, and my opponent knows it, and I know it, and the judge knows it and my friends know it, and you, maybe not super judgy reader, knows it.  

*I own a Prius.  It’s a swell car.  Also the slowest of four at the house, by a lot.

So… I started playing sisters when their codex was two issues of White Dwarf, which doesn’t make me a proper OG, but I did start when you could still buy their full line from GW.  It wasn’t cheap then, and is silly now, but I got in early-ish like Apple or Google, and it’s now so expensive I can’t really buy much more.  

I remember reading about St. Celestine, this angry little beatstick that would die then come back  on a 4+.  And if she didn’t, no worries, roll again next turn, and keep doing this. No limit to her returns. Doubled out by a power klaw? Oh well, she wore down that warboss and she’ll be back next turn to heavy flame and charge the boyz.  She wounded everything on a 4+, Riptides included, and could bog them down in close combat like a pint sized champion.  I had never seen her played, and at the start of 6th ed you could run allies, so hot damn, I bought her and a few bolter nuns, and added from there.  

A couple years later, and I should measure the damn army in pounds, everything but the rhino/immolater is at least partially metal or all metal. I don’t want to think what it would cost to replace it, so I don’t.  Also, if you wear sandals while playing this army, don’t drop the metal Exorcist on your foot, it’s like eight pounds of sharp metal.  Ask me how I know!

As fun as the bolter girls are, I’m drawn to the old school Inquisition theme, the witch hunters, assassins, inquisitors.  So that’s what I’m going to bring.  

So far the army is something like this:

Sisters of Battle CAD

HQ

Jacobus (Warlord)

St. Celestine (beatstick)

Troops

Sisters squad x 5 in Immolator w/MG

Sisters squad x 5 in Immolator w/MG

Sisters squad x 5 in Immolator w/MG

Fast Attack

Dominions x 5 w/4x MG in Repressor

Dominions x 5 w/4x MG in Repressor

Heavy Support

Retributers x 5 w/4x Heavy Flamers in Repressor

Retributers x 5 w/4x Heavy Flamers in Repressor

Assassin Detachment

Culexus Assassin (burn the witch!)

Inquisition Detachment

Coteaz (but not this one, he’s okay)

Inquisitor (not sure the flavor, maybe Psyoculum or Daemonblade or Psyker)

Inquisitorial Squad (maybe in a Chimera, maybe)

2x Jokaero (space monkeys?!), 3x Troops w/Plasma Guns, 1 or 2 Psykers, 2-3 Crusaders (sweet 3++), and some ablative wound guys (4pt troops to suck shots)

So traditionally I like to run a big blob of girls (20) with Jacobus to give them the 5++ from his warlord trait; attach a priest or two for the CC bonuses, then stick them in cover and sit on an objective forever.  With the advent of grav, this is less appealing as the 3+ doesn’t get the distance it used to; ditto on AP3 shots from Imperial Knights.  Its also hard to hide, slow and doesn’t put out much in the way of killing (1 special, 1 heavy and a bunch of bolters).  They aren’t really cheap enough to justify the points sink, they aren’t fast in any way, and they aren’t killy.  A couple smaller squads with priests could hide better and remain fearless; while a couple small squads in Immolaters could actually move around and shoot things.  Much better Sisters players than I have had great success with MSU, mostly running Rhinos and melta guns, but I like Immolators so that is what it will be.  Who doesn’t like a twin linked heavy flamer or twin linked multi melta?  

Although lacking in the sheer awesome bonus rules and free shit departement, Sisters do have a few tricks.  Celestine currently can come back once on a leadership test, with full wounds, and charge, etc as normal.  Jacobus is still an angry little bastard with 3 wounds, fearless, counter attack to his squad, a 12” fearless bubble, and the sweet ass sweet Litanies of Faith bonuses in CC, plus giving his unit a 5++ if the army’s warlord.  The battle sisters can roll a leadership test once per game for a preferred enemy (I use it in my shooting phase); the Dominions get ignores cover with their melta guns (pretty sweet against bikes/jetbikes/cover camping Tau), and the Retributers get rending with their heavy flamers once per game.  All the bolter girls (and their sweet rides) have a 6++ or better to boot, which isn’t amazing but it is sweet to roll a six and that see that pen just go away…

The Dominions can also scout or outflank, which is kinda fun against anything not Tau, and since both the Dominions and Retributers will be in big, armored boxes with front armor 13 and gun slits, they’ll be firing out all of their weapons and most *should* be able to do some damage.  Or die in a horrible, fiery explosion.   Sadly it isn’t 5th Ed, they just don’t make tanks like they used to…

My plan is to keep the girls in their tanks, ride or die style, using cover to my advantage and either scouting or outflanking the Dominions to melta something important.  I’ll have three squads of Obsec troops in Immolators, plus to four other units in Repressors. Coteaz and the Inquisition will probably sit in the back, use his 24” bubble of intercepting fuck you to kill drop pods, deep strikers and the such, while also twin linking the space monkey’s Lascannons/Multimeltas/Heavy Flamers; whatever they’re feeling at that moment plus the three plasma guns.  The other Inquisitor will either provide more psyker fun, the silly but fun Daemonblade or a Psyoculum to give the unit BS10 against enemy psykers.  

St. Celestine, well, she’s there to wreck face and chew bubblegum.  Against any proper close combat unit and she’ll get doubled out right quick plus S5/AP3 means little to 2+ armor saves; however, against space marines, she can hurt some feelings.  I7, WS7, built in heavy flamer, five base attacks, master crafted power sword and a jump pack make her the bane of power armor marines.  And, if there happens to be a power fisting sergeant, well… somebody is getting challenge-fisted, and it’s not this nun. Being a small target, she can hide quite well, then counter charge, or distraction carnifex from terrain to terrain, use that sweet heavy flamer to meltinate a cover camping scout squad, eldar jetbikes, or some slightly armored fish fellows.  Then she charges and wrecks shop.  Hands down my favorite 135 points in the game.

The Culexus Assassin is the other side of this nasty-onesy coin.  He’s hard to hit, he’ll do damage in close combat, and he’ll null and void invisibility; so best to kill the bastard sooner than later, although you’ll still need to see him, and he is one more infiltrating, move through cover distraction carnifex for my opponent to deal with.  

I have exactly zero delusions about winning much with this army, I think I’ll end up on the lower tables and maybe go 3-3 or 4-4 if I play well, the dice gods smile, and I don’t get straight warhammered on beer while in the Hyatt.   NOVA is a fantastic event and I missed 2014 and 2015 by being in the wrong country doing bad things to bad people.  If you’ve never had the opportunity, I highly recommend it, Mike Brandt and company put on an amazing event and I only wish I could do more while I was there, just not enough hours in the day.  

Khorne Daemonkin, Chaos Space Marines, and You!

      Hello fellow heretics! Today i am going to be discussing Khorne Daemonkin and Chaos Space Marines. Together! I have been running a pretty powerful army at some ITC events, most recently ATC. First, let us look at the list:

   KDK:Formation: Fist Of Khorne 19x Berserkers, Berserker Champion w/ Axe of Khorne, Kharybdis Assault Claw

   KDK: Formation: Gorepack 5x Flesh hounds, 5x Flesh hounds, 5x Flesh hounds, 5x Flesh hounds 3x bikers, 3x bikers

 CSM: Combined arms detachment:   Kharn the Betrayer

                                                         Chaos Lord, Mark of Khorne, Juggernaut, Axe of Blind Fury

                                                         5x assault chaos space marines, Dreadclaw drop pod 

                                                         5x assault chaos space marines, Dreadclaw drop pod

       The idea of the list is simple. The Fist of Khorne and Kharns drop pod drop onto the table turn one, with the Flesh hounds and bikers starting on the table. The Fist is a strong alpha strike, as all the berserkers inside can disembark and assault turn one. As if that isnt enough for the enemy to think about, any vehicles or buildings the Kharybdis scatters on top of takes a strength D hit at AP1! I have rolled a "6" here and elimated Imperial Knights several times.

        Kharn also lands turn one as the Dreadclaws and Kharybdis follow drop pod assault rules. The difference is that his unit doesnt have to disembark! They are flyers and can flat out in the shooting phase, setting up a massive turn two assault with flesh hounds, Kharn, bikes, and berserkers (they should kill anything they assault turn one). The army completely controls the table from turn one forward. I threw the Jugger lord in to ride around with some flesh hounds and clean up after the rest of the army. Cant go wrong with 7+d6 S6 ap2 attacks on the charge.

        When i first put the list together, I had the ATC in mind. It's first real test was at an ITC event in Knoxville, Tn. I ended up winning the event, sweeping all three rounds. I also played some pretty competitive lists in practice games before giving the final decision to our team, Beer for the Beer God, that i was taking it. Individually the list went 5-1 at ATC, with pairings and results as follows:

                   Round 1- Vs Tau Empire Ghostkeel/Riptide/broadside intercepting spam. This game was brutal for me. Not the best match up, so i was already fighting an uphill battle. I lost this game to some hot dice from Kelly Wallace, who couldnt miss with overwatch. Coupled with the fact I couldnt make an armor save, he made quick work of me and i lost 20-0. Needless to say, it wasnt a good start to the tournament for the heretics. But the chaos gods had not left me completely.

                   Round 2- Vs 3 Renegade Knights + Heldrake Flyer Wing. This was a far better match up for me. His knights had 5 Gatlin cannons between them. I got the first turn in this one, and sadly the fist didnt scatter onto a knight. It did land perfectly between two of his knights, however, and i managed to assault two knights and tie them up. Kharn cleaned the knights up (s7 armourbane hitting on 2s with hatred) while the flesh hounds controlled the table. The heldrakes killed a few units, but it was too late as his knights were all dead turn 4. I won this game 18-2.

                   Round 3- Vs Daemonic Incursion of Tzeentch. This guy had tons and tons of psychic dice. Three heralds, fateweaver, tons of horrors, and 30 screamers. He had a good army, but ran into all kinds of match up problems against me. Almost my entire army had some kind of special rule that killed psykers. Worse for him is i rolled first turn, and he failed to seize. He set up in a corner of the table thinking he was safe, but the Fist dropped in turn one and multi assaulted two units of horrors and three units of screamers. He lost the combat by 7 and lost each unit to instability rolls, giving me 5 blood tithe points turn one. I tabled him turn 4, winning the game 20-0. Want to make a note this was one of my favorite games, because he was such a great guy.
                   Round 4- Vs Tau Riptide/Yvahrna/Stormsurge spam. We all have seen this list floating around, and it is a very hard list for any army to deal with. For the life of me, i cannot remember the guys name (he was with forge the narrative, a great group of guys). I ended up seizing the initiative this game and getting turn one. The Fist dropped in and ate intercepting fire from 3 riptides and a stormsurge. He killed 8 or so berserkers, and i had though that was going to win him the game, much like the first game vs Tau i had. I made my assault and the axe of khorne tore down one riptide as i chose not to multi assault the other two in his wing (this is a sound strategy chaos players, once they blew their intercept they wouldnt be able to fire at me on his turn, so i chose to ignore them and assault them next turn). I tied up the other riptides the rest of the game, he didnt get to fire them on his turn once. Kharn chopped down one Yvarhna but ended up getting stomped out by a stormsurge. This was by far the closest game of the tournament, and due to some crafty rolling he managed to steal the relic on turn 7 to narrow the gap. I won this game 11-9. Best game of the tournament.
                  Round 5- Orks with a big mek stompa and a shitload of bikes. This game was another classic bad match up for my opponent. The alpha strike from the pissed off berserkers took his warlord away on the top of turn one, and he never really recovered. Highlight of the game is when he assaulted Kharn (who was by himself due to dakka guns, with only one wound left) with a warboss and nob with power klaws. My only chance here was to eat his Nob in a challenge and heal a wound or two. Kharn issued the challenge and murdered the poor Nob easily, and i immediately rolled on the chaos boon table. To my opponents dismay i rolled a 66, turning Kharn into a demon prince and seperating him from combat, saving his life! Was an epic moment for the chaos gods. I won this game 20-0 as well.
                 Round 6- Final game was against the hated Space Wolves. He was running 10 wulfen, 15 thunderwolf cavalry, a wolf lord and a Lancer. I elected to let hm go first on hammer and anvil, parking myself 35 inches away on deployment so as not to get assaulted turn one by the wulfens special ability. He moved forward on his turn, and on my turn one the fist of khorne once again went to work, scattering directly on top of the lancer, giving it 3 hull points and landing next to some wulfen. They disembarked, and knowing he was going to kill the berserkers i assaulted them anyways because i needed them off the table. The 81 attacks killed all the wulfen, but his abiltiy to fight back on death killed 13 of my berserkers as well. I tied his lancer up with a unit of flesh hounds and Kharn finished it off turn 2, and the ensuing explosion killed off the rest of one of his cavalry units and one of my flesh hound units with my chaos lord in it. I ended up tabling him turn 4, which is gratifying for any Chaos player to table an imperial army. He was such great guy though. Won this game 20-0, bringing my totals for ATC to 5-1 and 89 points scored, which was the highest among Khorne Demonkin players (i think, we all got lumped in with demons so i didnt win best in that category, sadly) and i think one cabal CSM army placed higher than i did as well. It was overall a good tournament for me. ( I havent seen all f the overall results for individuals, so this may be off a little)
      So don't let anyone tell you that Chaos can't compete in today's meta. Check back with me soon I'll be doing a CSM and KDK tactica and codex rundown. Feel free to comment any questions!

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

       

Ork Tactics - "Da grot's guide to krumpin"

Welcome to the beginning of a new WAAAGH!

First of all, welcome to our blog: "Blog for the Beer God"!  I'm da Mekboss, and our group's resident Ork player/fanatic.  I'm not big on the small talk so let's get down to the nitty-gritty.  A lot of you gits out there, even the most devoted of warbosses, believe that Orks suck.  The codex sucks, the supplement sucks, it's not competitive and only good for casual games, blah blah blah.  That's all a load of squigsh*t.  Gork (or maybe Mork) is thinking about thumpin' your hoomie-lovin skull.  In this blog series I'm going to be discussing making Da Boys into your opponents worst nightmare.  More specifically, getting the mobs into tournament shape.  It's not for the delicate git, so strap in Boyz and let's get started.

Da Konseptz

More than anything, embracing the lore and the spirit of the Orks has been the most fulfilling and rewarding part about building competitive lists.  The spirit of the WAAAGH! is the most fun part about playing an Ork army and can be broken down into a few basic ideas:

We don't do subtlety.  It's not who we are.  That translates to bringing an epic and overwhelming amount of a specific (or even your favorite) Ork unit.  Abandon balance, sanity, and clear thoughts from your Orky mind.  Pick an idea, a theme, and then run absolutely wild with it.  Do you love Lootas?  Bring 90.  Trukk boyz?  Bring 8 trukk-loads of em and belly-laugh as they roar across the table, because even if half of them don't make it the enemy is still in for some krumpin.  Mix in a few Warbosses in mega armour with the boys and pile on the pain.  Love bikers?  Bikestars?  I think you're getting my point. 

Do what we do best.  Those other codices have a bunch of fancy toys and witchcraft and all kinds of other nonsense, so what do we have?  We have choppa, and dakka, and a belligerence found only in the underdog.  Fancy battle plans are great and all, but remember the Ork mindset: get stuck in and start smashing things.  Optimize your mobs, be frugal with the points spent on fancy gadgets and doodads, and spend your points on more choppa boyz, dakka units, or a way to get the boys to the enemy as rapidly as possible.  Da boys love a good scrap, and a good warboss ensures they get it.  Overwhelm them with numbers, or with speed.  We do both remarkably well.  More specifically, think about those units in the Ork codex that really get the most bang for their buck.  Warbosses are absolute monsters with klaws.  Stick them on a bike and their's the stuff of nightmares.  In mega armour they're absolute terrors if you can get them to the fight.  Boys, the lowly, simple boy, is the best 6 pt model in the game.  t4 and 4 x s4 attacks on the charge?  Shenanigans. 

Mucking about.  Testing out your wacky ideas is integral to building an effective competitive list.  Ask yourself: did I bring enough choppa?  Dakka?  Did I go fast enough?  Think Orky thoughts, think outside the box, and think about the look on your opponent's face as their fancy-shmancy meta list gets pummeled by da boyz.  Stay motivated, and keep it fun (for you at least).  It's easy to get discouraged playing da Orks.  I like to remember that it's less about winning, and more about da fightin' itself that matters.  Get yourself good army building software and build some ridiculous lists.  I recommend battlescribe for you smartphone users.  Then try em out next local tourney.  Have some fun with it.  

Lot's of talking about em, now let's get to the squig and fungus of the matter.  What the hell am I talking about?

Sample Tournament List (ITC legal):

+++ SPEED FREAKS (1847pts) +++

++ Orks: Codex (2014) (Combined Arms Detachment) (435pts) ++

+ HQ (235pts) +

Warboss w/ Mega Armour (110pts) [Gift: Da Finkin' Kap, Mega Armour, Power Klaw, Twin-linked Shoota, Warlord]

Warboss w/ Mega Armour (125pts) [Gift: Da Lucky Stikk, Mega Armour, Power Klaw, Twin-linked Shoota]

+ Troops (200pts) +

Boss' boyz - Boyz (100pts)
····Boss Nob [Choppa, Slugga]
····9x Boy [9x Slugga]
····Trukk [Rokkit Launcha]

Boss' boyz - Boyz (100pts)
····Boss Nob [Choppa, Slugga]
····9x Boy [9x Slugga]
····Trukk [Rokkit Launcha]

++ Orks: Codex (2014) (Combined Arms Detachment) (762pts) ++

+ HQ (220pts) +

Warboss (110pts) [Power Klaw, Slugga, Warbike]

Warboss (110pts) [Power Klaw, Slugga, Warbike]

+ Troops (200pts) +

Boss' boyz - Boyz (100pts)
····Boss Nob [Choppa, Slugga]
····9x Boy [9x Slugga]
····Trukk [Rokkit Launcha]

Boss' boyz - Boyz (100pts)
····Boss Nob [Choppa, Slugga]
····9x Boy [9x Slugga]
····Trukk [Rokkit Launcha]

+ Fast Attack (342pts) +

Warbikers (162pts) [9x Warbiker]

Warbikers (180pts) [10x Warbiker]

++ Orks: Codex (2014) (Ork Horde Detachment) (650pts) ++

+ HQ (300pts) +

Warboss w/ Mega Armour (100pts) [Mega Armour, Power Klaw, Twin-linked Shoota]

Warboss w/ Mega Armour (100pts) [Mega Armour, Power Klaw, Twin-linked Shoota]

Warboss w/ Mega Armour (100pts) [Mega Armour, Power Klaw, Twin-linked Shoota]

+ Troops (350pts) +

Boss' boyz - Boyz (100pts)
····Boss Nob [Choppa, Slugga]
····9x Boy [9x Slugga]
····Trukk [Rokkit Launcha]

Boss' boyz - Boyz (125pts)
····Boss Nob [Power Klaw, Slugga]
····9x Boy [9x Slugga]
····Trukk [Rokkit Launcha]

Boss' boyz - Boyz (125pts)
····Boss Nob [Power Klaw, Slugga]
····9x Boy [9x Slugga]
····Trukk [Rokkit Launcha]

7 Warbosses with s10 attacks.  70 choppa boyz.  20 bikers.  Losing a unit doesn't hurt.  Remember that the boyz pay dividends in the assault.  Stick the mega-armoured bosses in the 100pt trukk units.  The biggun with the Lucky Stick goes at the most dakka-heavy target.  Turn two, when the enemy is cornered, be sure that when you hop out of the trukks to charge you place the megabosses in front to tank some of the overwatch with that 2+ armour.  AP2?  "Look Out Sir", I mean "Boss".  Use the embedded Boss Nobs to soak up those pesky challenges so the Warboss can lay waste to everything else for a turn.  The bikebosses go with the bike units on the flanks or in front of the trukks for cover saves.  Everything drives straight at the enemy, everything moves 24 inches with turboboost Turn 1.  3+ cover saves for the bikes if they jink.  Da Finkin' Cap is a bargain at 10pts, as it gives you an additional strategic warlord trait.  Imagine for a moment that your bikes and boys have move through cover (ruins), stealth (ruins), or inflitrate (shorter distance to the gits).  I think you get the picture.  Bring a bucket of dice for the dakka that the bikes dish out (they're pretty handy against light armor and flyers).  Bring two buckets of dice for the inevitable 2nd turn assault that's coming.  Swarm expensive star units.  

No frills, no chill.  Keep it basic.  Keep it Orky.  Just roar across the table cackling to yourself as the opponent frantically tries to prioritize targets.  

I challenge my fellow warbosses to fight the meta.  Let's teach them to fear the green again.

As for the army list, I dare you to try it out.  Till next time.