Nuns with Guns

Nuns with Guns.

Following my less than victorious trip to ATC with the admittedly cheesy WarCon as covered below, I’ve decided to return to my roots (kinda) for NOVA in a few weeks and run the bolter girls, Sisters of Battle, Adepta Sororitas or whatever other name they go by these days.  

Although NOVA isn’t using the GW FAQs as I understand, and I could bring them in drop pods a la Flesh Tearer’s Taxi Service; I have decided to go MSU Sisters in their own vehicles as locally we use (most) of what GW published in the FAQs and ITC is pretty much there too.

Also, when I get crushed with Bolter Girls, nobody judges me.  It’s like street racing a Prius*, nobody expects you to win. And if I do, because someone stalls out at the launch, or I pull a surprise W on the bottom tables, I feel a little better about myself, instead of getting face kicked with WarCon and its crazy amount of free crap and feeling bad, because I suck, and my opponent knows it, and I know it, and the judge knows it and my friends know it, and you, maybe not super judgy reader, knows it.  

*I own a Prius.  It’s a swell car.  Also the slowest of four at the house, by a lot.

So… I started playing sisters when their codex was two issues of White Dwarf, which doesn’t make me a proper OG, but I did start when you could still buy their full line from GW.  It wasn’t cheap then, and is silly now, but I got in early-ish like Apple or Google, and it’s now so expensive I can’t really buy much more.  

I remember reading about St. Celestine, this angry little beatstick that would die then come back  on a 4+.  And if she didn’t, no worries, roll again next turn, and keep doing this. No limit to her returns. Doubled out by a power klaw? Oh well, she wore down that warboss and she’ll be back next turn to heavy flame and charge the boyz.  She wounded everything on a 4+, Riptides included, and could bog them down in close combat like a pint sized champion.  I had never seen her played, and at the start of 6th ed you could run allies, so hot damn, I bought her and a few bolter nuns, and added from there.  

A couple years later, and I should measure the damn army in pounds, everything but the rhino/immolater is at least partially metal or all metal. I don’t want to think what it would cost to replace it, so I don’t.  Also, if you wear sandals while playing this army, don’t drop the metal Exorcist on your foot, it’s like eight pounds of sharp metal.  Ask me how I know!

As fun as the bolter girls are, I’m drawn to the old school Inquisition theme, the witch hunters, assassins, inquisitors.  So that’s what I’m going to bring.  

So far the army is something like this:

Sisters of Battle CAD

HQ

Jacobus (Warlord)

St. Celestine (beatstick)

Troops

Sisters squad x 5 in Immolator w/MG

Sisters squad x 5 in Immolator w/MG

Sisters squad x 5 in Immolator w/MG

Fast Attack

Dominions x 5 w/4x MG in Repressor

Dominions x 5 w/4x MG in Repressor

Heavy Support

Retributers x 5 w/4x Heavy Flamers in Repressor

Retributers x 5 w/4x Heavy Flamers in Repressor

Assassin Detachment

Culexus Assassin (burn the witch!)

Inquisition Detachment

Coteaz (but not this one, he’s okay)

Inquisitor (not sure the flavor, maybe Psyoculum or Daemonblade or Psyker)

Inquisitorial Squad (maybe in a Chimera, maybe)

2x Jokaero (space monkeys?!), 3x Troops w/Plasma Guns, 1 or 2 Psykers, 2-3 Crusaders (sweet 3++), and some ablative wound guys (4pt troops to suck shots)

So traditionally I like to run a big blob of girls (20) with Jacobus to give them the 5++ from his warlord trait; attach a priest or two for the CC bonuses, then stick them in cover and sit on an objective forever.  With the advent of grav, this is less appealing as the 3+ doesn’t get the distance it used to; ditto on AP3 shots from Imperial Knights.  Its also hard to hide, slow and doesn’t put out much in the way of killing (1 special, 1 heavy and a bunch of bolters).  They aren’t really cheap enough to justify the points sink, they aren’t fast in any way, and they aren’t killy.  A couple smaller squads with priests could hide better and remain fearless; while a couple small squads in Immolaters could actually move around and shoot things.  Much better Sisters players than I have had great success with MSU, mostly running Rhinos and melta guns, but I like Immolators so that is what it will be.  Who doesn’t like a twin linked heavy flamer or twin linked multi melta?  

Although lacking in the sheer awesome bonus rules and free shit departement, Sisters do have a few tricks.  Celestine currently can come back once on a leadership test, with full wounds, and charge, etc as normal.  Jacobus is still an angry little bastard with 3 wounds, fearless, counter attack to his squad, a 12” fearless bubble, and the sweet ass sweet Litanies of Faith bonuses in CC, plus giving his unit a 5++ if the army’s warlord.  The battle sisters can roll a leadership test once per game for a preferred enemy (I use it in my shooting phase); the Dominions get ignores cover with their melta guns (pretty sweet against bikes/jetbikes/cover camping Tau), and the Retributers get rending with their heavy flamers once per game.  All the bolter girls (and their sweet rides) have a 6++ or better to boot, which isn’t amazing but it is sweet to roll a six and that see that pen just go away…

The Dominions can also scout or outflank, which is kinda fun against anything not Tau, and since both the Dominions and Retributers will be in big, armored boxes with front armor 13 and gun slits, they’ll be firing out all of their weapons and most *should* be able to do some damage.  Or die in a horrible, fiery explosion.   Sadly it isn’t 5th Ed, they just don’t make tanks like they used to…

My plan is to keep the girls in their tanks, ride or die style, using cover to my advantage and either scouting or outflanking the Dominions to melta something important.  I’ll have three squads of Obsec troops in Immolators, plus to four other units in Repressors. Coteaz and the Inquisition will probably sit in the back, use his 24” bubble of intercepting fuck you to kill drop pods, deep strikers and the such, while also twin linking the space monkey’s Lascannons/Multimeltas/Heavy Flamers; whatever they’re feeling at that moment plus the three plasma guns.  The other Inquisitor will either provide more psyker fun, the silly but fun Daemonblade or a Psyoculum to give the unit BS10 against enemy psykers.  

St. Celestine, well, she’s there to wreck face and chew bubblegum.  Against any proper close combat unit and she’ll get doubled out right quick plus S5/AP3 means little to 2+ armor saves; however, against space marines, she can hurt some feelings.  I7, WS7, built in heavy flamer, five base attacks, master crafted power sword and a jump pack make her the bane of power armor marines.  And, if there happens to be a power fisting sergeant, well… somebody is getting challenge-fisted, and it’s not this nun. Being a small target, she can hide quite well, then counter charge, or distraction carnifex from terrain to terrain, use that sweet heavy flamer to meltinate a cover camping scout squad, eldar jetbikes, or some slightly armored fish fellows.  Then she charges and wrecks shop.  Hands down my favorite 135 points in the game.

The Culexus Assassin is the other side of this nasty-onesy coin.  He’s hard to hit, he’ll do damage in close combat, and he’ll null and void invisibility; so best to kill the bastard sooner than later, although you’ll still need to see him, and he is one more infiltrating, move through cover distraction carnifex for my opponent to deal with.  

I have exactly zero delusions about winning much with this army, I think I’ll end up on the lower tables and maybe go 3-3 or 4-4 if I play well, the dice gods smile, and I don’t get straight warhammered on beer while in the Hyatt.   NOVA is a fantastic event and I missed 2014 and 2015 by being in the wrong country doing bad things to bad people.  If you’ve never had the opportunity, I highly recommend it, Mike Brandt and company put on an amazing event and I only wish I could do more while I was there, just not enough hours in the day.